Normal life… coming soon…

After all the bullshit in life ive been through. I sit back and think. This baby is going to complete our lives, and start a chapter of my own that ive only dreamed of. A family. That is together, forever. A child that never MUST leave my side due to court orders, or obscene father demands. I will, for once in my life, know what it feels like to be a real mother. With real dreams, and real experiences. No muttling over “this is what be at my house”, and what must be at mine. She is mine. And always will be mine. No child support. No fighting. No tugging at “this is my time not yours”. Just a normal happy family.

I fight everyday to make it another day. For her to grow stronger, and healthier. I fought for all her siblings, and now it is her turn! Im praying that god blesses this family, and i never again have these issues. Its almost a pure extacy to imagine a child always tugging at me. For those that dont have this everyday, understand. For those that do, just see me as crazy. To each their own. Leave me in my heavinley state.

I love you Melody.


Another test. Yay.

Glucose test today, fun!!! Wont get results for a few days though. Im dialated to a 1… ugh. And they are searching for a reason for the spotting/cramping. Should HOPEFULLY find out soon. I also lost 1lb, bringing me to a whopping 7lbs weight gain for the entire pregnancy. So now ive been threatened with hopsital stays if i dont gain in the next two weeks Baby measured 1 week behind with tummy measurements, but as she is normally lively, she kicked the nurse and dr repeatedly.

So….More bedrest, and ORDERED to eat constantly. As it is i almost vomit everytime i eat, but she gave me meds for that. For now, its simply eat and rest until we both get better! Never in my life have i been told to be a bum, but its the offical order for now. Its kinda wierd!

Anywho, keep us in your prayers, so lil melody can grow strong and healthy for us!