9:15am, Thursday morning, i arrive to my dr appointment (5 minutes late too, opps!). Im used to waiting for at least an hour to see my OB, so i settled in waiting for my name. I already knew there were 3 people who signed in before me. 5 minutes barely pass when my name is called. Sweet! I waddle my butt back there, get weighed. 128lbs! I gained a pound back!
I tell the nurse about all the new problems; the naseau, the puking, the headaches, ect. She scribbles everything into my chart and leaves. And this is where i normally wait at least 30 minutes for the dr to come in. 5 minutes later and there she is! Yay. I go over everything with her, and she suggests Tums before eating, which i know in the back of my mind wont help. She’s happy ive gained a pound, but still upset i havent gained more. She measures my belly again (the nurse just did this hello) and says im measuring a whopping 26 weeks… Of course, im thinking, how the hell is this possible? 4 weeks ago, at my 29 week appointment, i was measuring 28 weeks… So i shrunk? So, to say the least, im freaking out. She asks me to go for a sono just to make sure what the problem is, and to make sure the baby is growing. We’re both concerned since i havent gained much weight, and my belly is shrinking! She teases about having a Halloween baby, and all i want to do is cry!
I waddle my skinny pregnant ass up to the counter to find out when they can do the sono. 3:30pm, ugh! I get out to my car and tell Chad all the great news, and of course, he freaks out too. I get home, and he of course, gives me his normal 20001 questions, lol. Its mostly speculation at this point, since we’re not “for sure” at this point. I research low fluid online, trying to find possible reasons, but nothing to my satisfaction. The hours drill by, until its finally time to escape the anticipation and find out what the hell is really going on.
She starts the sono, and everything is unusually blurry. I honestly couldnt tell the difference between an arm, head, leg, stomach. It was odd. Then she started measuring. My heart sank. At first all the measurements were showing that she was the size of a 29 weeker. Some measurements went up to 31 weeks, but that still meant we were severly behind. All the measurements added up to her being a 30 weeker and 3lbs 1 oz, when she showed to be 2lbs 14oz at the hospital 4 WEEKS ago. I try to hold back my tears while she measures the fluid. She told us i have a 9 in fluid, with 10-20 being in the normal range (im not sure what the exact since is on measuring).
The dr comes in to check on things, and by this time im damned near hysterical. Why isnt my baby growing? Where did all her fluid go? Is this why it hurts when she kicks? She reassures me the measurements of the baby could be way off, since this is a different machine than the one in the hospital, and there is barely any fluid to see her correctly with. (a small sigh of releif) But no answers as to where the fluid went… And yes, this is why it hurts when she wiggles, there is little cushion left. She instructs me to drink, drink, drink, and eat as much as possible to give that baby some more fat! Not a problem! Being diabetic, i want to eat, this diet was killing me already.
So now, im worried, scared and confused. Im not sure what i’ve done wrong. I’ve had to of done something wrong with all the damned problems i’m having this pregnancy! First the previa and bleeding. Then the diabetes and lack of weight gain. Then the preterm labor. Now, this. Im banging my head on the wall, searching for answers… All i want is our healthy little girl. Chad and I’s little angel. I cant let go of this for anything. She is his one and only, and together, our future!