Fear leads me back to the hospital

After hours and hours of fighting vomiting and naseau, the kind you get when you first get pregnant, i finally got some relief when the nurse called me in some meds to remedy the situation. I discussed with some other mom’s online, the possibility and reality of having a preemie. All of it thrown together, absolutely terrifies me to no end. I try to swallow the feelings of it all, and what might come soon, but my mind wont let me. I must be prepared either way. I eat dinner with my husband, and try to just relax and enjoy his company. ( god i love that man, he makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside still)

We sit and talk for hours about stupid crap, as we always do. And some of my crazy obsessing over what’s going on inside my body. Then i notice, Melody hasnt moved in quite some time. I try to relax, and keep track of her movements. (Her movements are now excruiating with the lack of fluid, so its hard to miss a wiggle now) 2 thumps in 2 hours. Me being in obsessive mode already, i call the dr, and run a bath in hopes the warm water will wake her. It usually does. Nope, still very little movement. After about 1 hour, the nurse finally calls me back. Im also leaking through pantyliners like crazy, so i tell her the whole sha’bang, and as expected – go to labor and delivery she says. No better place to be at 9pm ona Friday night, eh? I call Auston’s dad to come pick him up. And mom so that we can drop off Chase.

We get there at 10:45ish, and up to L&D at 11pm. They strap me to the monitors, and her heart rate looks fine, but she still isnt moving much. They monitor us for about an hour, and swab for Amniotic fluid (and they found none). THEN the little booger decides to go buck wild with the kicking! I dont know what she was doing for the last 4 hours, but she sure did scare the living hell out of us both! The nurses in L&D decide we are fine, and sends us home. Thank god, because i was really expecting to not go home again until she was born. especially after our first episode there… 2am, we finally get home, and poor Chad is whipped. He is a trooper, but i feel so bad for putting him through so much hell!

Today, i think im going to sit back and relax. Unless my water gushes out, i think im going to leave the panic in my head. Im tired of that hospital already!